--An Apology--

i apologize in advance if i ever offend anyone.  but, this is...tell the man to suck it.  and that includes holding back and conventialism.  i gotta get it out.  and i think it's kind of interesting.  my environment really influences me.  Some places, like LA or Busan, that works really well.  in places in Atlanta, I have to reconfigure my whole outlook because if i allowed my surroundings/city to do the exact same as somewhere like LA, i'd stay really pissed for a long time.  LA=no eczema, no allergies, no hood-life, ocean, mountain, beautiful weather, progressive, interesting people.  ATL=sweaty eczema, a sheet of pollen and scratching my face out 7/12 months of the year, land-locked crazy heat and humidity, backwards hood-life EVERYWHERE....a city of people who didn't get the memo that slavery was over.

And it's not just the black hood-people, although they get on most people's nerves.  not just white or 'other' people, but they annoy us brown people!  believe me.  my black friends have HUGE problems with them.  but, this lady that i was sitting next to, white lady.  her friend comes into the coffee shop, comes over and starts talking to her about a murder that happened yesterday, nearby.  she says, there was a kid shot dead in the street.  the first question from the lady next to me was, 'black kid?' then she starts talking about gangs.  lady, you haven't seen gangs until you've seen LA.  but that's cool.  ignorant stuff from everyone.  and then there are the small pockets of cool people, i live for them in my social life.

PARTIAL: Horses Drinking

i've been thinking a bit....about making horses drink.  sometimes that horse holds on to not drinking, so tightly that it doesn't make sense to the person who has the truth...errrrrrr, the water (???)

Isolation from the LOW IQ

If it seems like people are getting dumber, it's true.

But, it's not their fault.  Subliminal messages, over-medication, toxic food, and intentionally-polluted water are the things that are causing the IQ's of the common public stumble to all-time lows.  Street-sense has turned into thug-life, and that's not all that bright because the thugs are actually believing that the videos are real.  Not thinking that the jet, the Bento, and the 'hoes' are all rented.  And that ice is rented too...believe that.  Believe that most artists are slaves and puppets for their labels.  

You can't tell anyone about how bad chemical fertilizer is, or how pesticides and genetically modified foods are terrible for you.  The lady on the supermarket commercial told me that by shopping there I was making the best decision for my family...and that's the truth!  Little Jimmy has ADD, ADHD, etcetcetc....and fluoride is good for you!  That's why 'they' keep putting it in the water.  You tell these people the truth (and it is the truth) they roll their eyes or any other 'you're crazy' reaction and tell you that 'you're crazy' and maybe even that you believe in some conspiracy theory.  That's what my son's (last) pediatrician said.  

I've already written about the Doctors.  Most are in the same circle as the rest, and may not even be aware of it because of their 'elite' conditioning.

So, about those IQ's.  Don't expect society to grow at the rate at which we should be progressing, together, as a people.  Certain pockets of people are where they need to be, and we help each other out, so we tend to be leaps and bounds beyond the majority who watch BET, MTV and VH1 and believe it all.  They watch the news, and think that it's all there is.  They watch for which celeb is having which baby and how great their lives are (must be?).  Not thinking about the unions some of these people have with 'who'.  

But, the antagonist of this all is....what to do when they keep getting in your way? VERY ANNOYING!  It's hard to tolerate people for extended amounts of time.  You collapse, and then you recover and get up and then it's the same, over and over.  Just now in the cafe', another stuck-up, siddidy Atl bitch.  Sorry.  But she was.  They keep getting in my way!  On the way to work, MARTA (the subway system) is FULL of them.  And their woman-hungry, nasty dudes.  Always in the way.  Staring, commenting. It gets annoying.  Day after day.  And the airport~ FULL of them.  That's all who gets hired.  Almost.  At my job, not like that at all b/c of a massive amount of qualifications and training and standard.  But most places, hood-life.  All the way.  Most have some of the worst attitudes I've ever seen.  Some of my coworkers have brought it up before. The theory is that they (the airport) hire people from around the area that the airport is in because there's a better chance that they'll make it to work vs someone who lives further away.  

My coworkers (all races now, believe that) have had the same experiences I do.  I talk to a couple of how they handle it.  One dude, righteous bro, said, that you have to relate to them and try to understand.  My husband says the same thing.  You have to try to understand where they're coming from, and that most have never seen anything else.  But I'm tired of trying to relate.  This issue was a HUGE reason that I moved from Atlanta.  I think the whole hood-life culture is outdated and holding communities back.  But that's another article.  Maybe I've even already written it.  I don't even remember.

But, so.  How to isolate from this?  An anti-climatic note I've written today, and I'm sorry.  I guess I'm asking for help.  For an opinion that'll help me, because trying to relate only helps me for a short period of time.  Stuck up heads of 36-40" weave, rolling their eyes and popping their gum (literally, I have to move trains a LOT because of this) and talking SO LOUD always seems to get to me.  I heard a girl yell the other day, "Naw, I ain't movin' trains...we fought TOO HARD to make it from the back." But didn't we fight too hard to have you mess it up with your friends who are making my ears ring?  Someone help me out.  

Can't Make a Horse Drink.

I saw a post on a pregnancy-type site that I frequent, a signature that went along with someone's post. 'I have a black president with bronze boobies' The bronze boobies are about how long she's been breast feeding. She was black, I'm guessing full-black, not mixed with anything I suppose.

It's something that people do. Not very accurate, very slave-like. One drop rule stuff. Even though President Obama is at least one-half something totally not black. Same as what they do with Halle Berry, a full 50% not black.  Bob Marley...50% black Jamaican, 50% white. Not to denounce, but just be accurate. And not to forget, and to not be insulting to this other full half of to-be-rightfully-claimed heritage.

I know about it. I've had people try to tell me what I am my whole life. Trying to force me into their little one-drop world. And I'm like, ' what about this whoooooole, huge part, this huge half of my family over here? Slave times are over right? I don't have to count as part of massah's property stat anymore,right?'

When I saw that woman's signature, I wanted to make a completely off-subject post, just on her innaccuracy.

Just like I always want to correct and re-educate people. Not to agree with me, but just to get things right. Basically right, fundamentally correct. But you can't force people out of ignorance.

Even in my ignorance, in recent and past times, I had to get myself out.  Through my own research and my own observations. Even when truths were given, bluntly and blatently. I still had to make sure I believed, not just accepted.

I want the world to be accurate, but I've let go of trying to convince. I've re-dedicated my energy towards those who are, not those who accept being lost.

It's an Anal Douche Kind of World...

Catchy title huh? Yeah, some would say, but I wasn't going for catchy...see,i needed something douchey, but not the kind of douche that was just for the ladies.something that could apply to everyone,...and, every thing.

See, because it is true, it is a (an anal douche) douchey kind of world. Kids are born innocently to supreme-loser parents, maybe even the same nut sack attack,smelly taintmeat upperlip sukka that tries to run me and my kid off the highway in his  tinypenis truck.

Everyone is turning into a bitch. Well, not everyone, but in general, everyone is. Everyone is getting worse, more annoying...more douchey. And i'm getting more tired, so my fuse is short despite me trying to stay zen & ghandiji-like.

Yeah,i'm still trying to be that light, that change you wanna see, but i'm beginning to not give a f.  I'm beginning to wanna start slappin db's (douche bags) in the nuts then smear the stink across their faces.

But we all still gotta be cool. despite our shady political system, despite the genocide of the natives. Through it all we have to save ourselves, and the other few who are left from anal douchedom.

they all can still suck it though.

maybe it's our environment...

this past thanksgiving made me think a little more about a few things that were on my mind about atlanta and some of the destroyed communities within it.  lately, i've been seeing the beauty in atlanta, and proud of the progress that i've been seeing.  transgender hires in my local stores, the film industry making more projects here and the effect that i think it has on our city...people being very stylish too!  very nice to see...

so, everyone knows how i feel about some of the black communities here in atlanta.  i've spoken to a few people, mainly older, (60+) black people from the north.  and they have seen the same thing, but since they feel that they have earned their keeps on this planet, they're not worried about being pc the way i am.  sometimes it's hard to talk about a certain demographic without seeming racist.  but in this case, it's definitely the truth.  

it's not a black thing, it's a black thing, for a very certain few, here in atlanta.  i heard a girl calling her 5 month old 'nigger' like a million times...i was saddened.  maybe it's not such a big deal, but i see that it is.  this is paired up with a million mates of thinking white people are the ones with money, or just jewish people are good with it.  stuff like that.  basically, this select people have the ongoing trait that thinks, 'that can never be me'.  except for being a rapper...or the 'pretty' girl, which equals to like 15lbs of remy brazilian sewed into her head, with a TON of 'mac' makeup and clothes like destiny's child when b's mom was still making the clothes.  and along with alllll that, being VERY bitchy to other women.  i think it's some competition thing.

anyways.  i was thinking.  ok, slavery.  i think about it any time i see black people in desolation here in the atl.  but think about the lonnnnng time that black/brown/colored...basically non-white people were treated here in the deep south.  segregation just happened 1 generation ago.  there are people you'll meet still who's immediate family were slaves.

and slaves were treated like shit.  don't wanna cuss, but this case calls for it.  they were ragged and beaten, told they were good for nothing, and told they were ugly.  while getting raped and abused by everyone around them, except for in a few small, select cases where the plantation owner was a 'good guy' and didn't beat (as badly?) as his neighbors. 

things here in atlanta are still very segregated, to me.  sometimes you see a black person who's not been removed from their environment very much in a totally new situation, and it's like a fish out of water.  like they're in shock. 

that could be me!  i could TOTALLY see myself saying, 'F that!  i'm NOT going over to ANYONE who doesn't look like me'...if i was treated like crap for generationsssssss, like a LONG time.  like 200 years of crap.  

and, it's not so far removed.  remember that.  i went to school in the DEEP south...at ga southern.  in statesboro.  the last place in georgia (or was it the south?) to segregate.  i graduated in 2003.  there are still TONS (believe me, TONS) of confederate flags....everywhere!  shoot, right by my house NOW in atalanta, the main street that the GSP and another cop entity is on is CONFEDERATE AVE.  hmm.  not a coincidence.  but back to my school.  i was working, at autozone, and an olllld white man, like 80 came to the register i was checking people out at and he said to me, 'you're just the prettiest colored girl i've ever seen' i didn't even get offended.  

in highschool...in a very suburbia part of the outskirts of atlanta, one of my teammates said something similar...'you're the prettiest black girl i've seen.'  kinda over being called black when i'm not full black, that one drop shit needs to go...but whateves.  i got it.  i was still 'them'

i get it.  i'll always be them.  but them are also the native americans.  my mothers father was part native american, and my fathers grandmother was 100%.  which leads me into why i was thinking about things like this one.  a big slap in the face.  an intentional slap.  native american heritage month is the same month that this 'let's celebrate genocide day' is on.  and people still don't recognize that.  

it all leads me to say eff it.  i'm not here to educate people, but yet i still want to.  go fig.  

----awareness....

awareness is power.  

even if you don't believe in the conspiracy, or that anything is 'wrong', knowing what the truth is is what the point is.  

i'm not going to get into what i believe in, at least not too deeply.  i'll graze the surface, and if you want, you can start your own research...and i guarantee that it'll lead to a LOT, but whatever, it can always be all a lie. i don't think it is, but i'm not interested in convincing ANYONE.  believe me ;o)  i'm definitely not.  

and...my point is--->everything that's aired, can all be a lie. it's very possible, and highly likely.  

a tad of the TRUTH.  the truth is: (this is just a PINPOINT amount of what's really going on out there...very basic knowledge indeed, believe me...lol)

A: the people who own the networks also own almost all of the media outlets...radio, newspapers and magazines. 

B: most of the people who own these things are also VERY politically empowered.  

C: 90% of the FDA are politicians

D: most of these politicians also own companies that are DIRECTLY involved or effected by the dealings in and around the FDA.

E: these people are NOT going to do things that benefit you if it can benefit them instead.  don't take it personally, it's the result of CAPITALISM.  which isn't entirely bad, but you have to not see these people as people, but as the MACHINE which makes the best BUSINESS decisions for ITSELF.  machines do not have hearts.

....this is only one TRUTH stream of consciousness...it's not a conspiracy theory, it's real, researchable, verifiable truth. 

and only a part of a HUGE, worldwide, international, multi-faceted network.  

awareness is power.  if you know what's happening, and even more about the details of it, you can enable yourself to make decisions that will protect you, keep you healthier, and more informed about what's really going on when a building gets run into with a plane or some 'war' is started.  

you can think about what's really in the water.  fluoride isn't good for you.  they tell you, if you swallow what's more than in toothpaste, call the CDC. but there's that and more in 8oz of most municipal water.  that's the truth.  i know here in my city, there have been massive petitions against them adding SO MUCH fluoride in the water. ha, they haven't stopped.  my pedi told is it was a good thing...i like him, but i don't agree with is fundamental POV. i had already looked up what research has proven about fluoride and what it hasn't.

but my doctor told me so!  your doctor may have the purest intentions, or not.  same with your pediatrician, but remember.  they went to school for YEARS within the educational systems that are the ones that don't teach (all of) the truth.  they're still teaching the the 'new settlers/pilgrims' were friends to the native americans.  what about those blankets?  oh, we forgot.  whatever...get out of here.  btw, do you really think that the edu that the presidents got, let's say, in primary/middle/highschool is the same one that you and i got?  

but remember, your doctor was convinced of the things that they want you to believe.  i'm not trying to get too conspiracy style right now, but just keep in mind that you and your doctor may have very different opinions, and what they tell you is not necessarily what you need to do.  you can take their advice, but just remember what they're telling you may not be accurate, or what you feel in your heart.  but it sure is difficult to have the confidence to go against a doctor.  don't worry, it gets easier with time. and when you know the truth.

but!  your doctor may be AWESOME!  i'm not here to bash anyone, including doctors.  they may have gone to a really progressive open-intelligence kind of school.  or maybe they went directly through the system, but they may have with a really strong mind that knew what the deal was and with their own, very educated, opinion.  VERY POSSIBLE!  and definitely a keeper :o)

ps...refusal of awareness and just 'taking it' is ignorance.  and usually is a direct contribution to the things that take us down as a society.  

you're pissed that you have poor living conditions, no money, dirty water and cities?  no jobs, poor schools for your kids?  it's because you're accepting the reaming of your ass.  and taking what the news and magazine covers (even people...lol) as the truth, and soaking in the distraction. i watch housewives and jersey shore, but i don't wake up wanting to be them or wondering what they're doing...or even believing that it's not scripted.

i've lived in LA, getting casted for 'reality' shows.  how real is that?  you wouldn't even believe what you'd see on an LA set.  


pss:  AND TO THE THINKERS.  remember!  the unaware often get in the way of the aware, lemmings, bad drivers, non-thinkers.  part of getting ahead is not letting them get in your way, too much...lol

peace...

for real.  peace.