It's an Anal Douche Kind of World...

Catchy title huh? Yeah, some would say, but I wasn't going for catchy...see,i needed something douchey, but not the kind of douche that was just for the ladies.something that could apply to everyone,...and, every thing.

See, because it is true, it is a (an anal douche) douchey kind of world. Kids are born innocently to supreme-loser parents, maybe even the same nut sack attack,smelly taintmeat upperlip sukka that tries to run me and my kid off the highway in his  tinypenis truck.

Everyone is turning into a bitch. Well, not everyone, but in general, everyone is. Everyone is getting worse, more annoying...more douchey. And i'm getting more tired, so my fuse is short despite me trying to stay zen & ghandiji-like.

Yeah,i'm still trying to be that light, that change you wanna see, but i'm beginning to not give a f.  I'm beginning to wanna start slappin db's (douche bags) in the nuts then smear the stink across their faces.

But we all still gotta be cool. despite our shady political system, despite the genocide of the natives. Through it all we have to save ourselves, and the other few who are left from anal douchedom.

they all can still suck it though.

maybe it's our environment...

this past thanksgiving made me think a little more about a few things that were on my mind about atlanta and some of the destroyed communities within it.  lately, i've been seeing the beauty in atlanta, and proud of the progress that i've been seeing.  transgender hires in my local stores, the film industry making more projects here and the effect that i think it has on our city...people being very stylish too!  very nice to see...

so, everyone knows how i feel about some of the black communities here in atlanta.  i've spoken to a few people, mainly older, (60+) black people from the north.  and they have seen the same thing, but since they feel that they have earned their keeps on this planet, they're not worried about being pc the way i am.  sometimes it's hard to talk about a certain demographic without seeming racist.  but in this case, it's definitely the truth.  

it's not a black thing, it's a black thing, for a very certain few, here in atlanta.  i heard a girl calling her 5 month old 'nigger' like a million times...i was saddened.  maybe it's not such a big deal, but i see that it is.  this is paired up with a million mates of thinking white people are the ones with money, or just jewish people are good with it.  stuff like that.  basically, this select people have the ongoing trait that thinks, 'that can never be me'.  except for being a rapper...or the 'pretty' girl, which equals to like 15lbs of remy brazilian sewed into her head, with a TON of 'mac' makeup and clothes like destiny's child when b's mom was still making the clothes.  and along with alllll that, being VERY bitchy to other women.  i think it's some competition thing.

anyways.  i was thinking.  ok, slavery.  i think about it any time i see black people in desolation here in the atl.  but think about the lonnnnng time that black/brown/colored...basically non-white people were treated here in the deep south.  segregation just happened 1 generation ago.  there are people you'll meet still who's immediate family were slaves.

and slaves were treated like shit.  don't wanna cuss, but this case calls for it.  they were ragged and beaten, told they were good for nothing, and told they were ugly.  while getting raped and abused by everyone around them, except for in a few small, select cases where the plantation owner was a 'good guy' and didn't beat (as badly?) as his neighbors. 

things here in atlanta are still very segregated, to me.  sometimes you see a black person who's not been removed from their environment very much in a totally new situation, and it's like a fish out of water.  like they're in shock. 

that could be me!  i could TOTALLY see myself saying, 'F that!  i'm NOT going over to ANYONE who doesn't look like me'...if i was treated like crap for generationsssssss, like a LONG time.  like 200 years of crap.  

and, it's not so far removed.  remember that.  i went to school in the DEEP south...at ga southern.  in statesboro.  the last place in georgia (or was it the south?) to segregate.  i graduated in 2003.  there are still TONS (believe me, TONS) of confederate flags....everywhere!  shoot, right by my house NOW in atalanta, the main street that the GSP and another cop entity is on is CONFEDERATE AVE.  hmm.  not a coincidence.  but back to my school.  i was working, at autozone, and an olllld white man, like 80 came to the register i was checking people out at and he said to me, 'you're just the prettiest colored girl i've ever seen' i didn't even get offended.  

in highschool...in a very suburbia part of the outskirts of atlanta, one of my teammates said something similar...'you're the prettiest black girl i've seen.'  kinda over being called black when i'm not full black, that one drop shit needs to go...but whateves.  i got it.  i was still 'them'

i get it.  i'll always be them.  but them are also the native americans.  my mothers father was part native american, and my fathers grandmother was 100%.  which leads me into why i was thinking about things like this one.  a big slap in the face.  an intentional slap.  native american heritage month is the same month that this 'let's celebrate genocide day' is on.  and people still don't recognize that.  

it all leads me to say eff it.  i'm not here to educate people, but yet i still want to.  go fig.  

----awareness....

awareness is power.  

even if you don't believe in the conspiracy, or that anything is 'wrong', knowing what the truth is is what the point is.  

i'm not going to get into what i believe in, at least not too deeply.  i'll graze the surface, and if you want, you can start your own research...and i guarantee that it'll lead to a LOT, but whatever, it can always be all a lie. i don't think it is, but i'm not interested in convincing ANYONE.  believe me ;o)  i'm definitely not.  

and...my point is--->everything that's aired, can all be a lie. it's very possible, and highly likely.  

a tad of the TRUTH.  the truth is: (this is just a PINPOINT amount of what's really going on out there...very basic knowledge indeed, believe me...lol)

A: the people who own the networks also own almost all of the media outlets...radio, newspapers and magazines. 

B: most of the people who own these things are also VERY politically empowered.  

C: 90% of the FDA are politicians

D: most of these politicians also own companies that are DIRECTLY involved or effected by the dealings in and around the FDA.

E: these people are NOT going to do things that benefit you if it can benefit them instead.  don't take it personally, it's the result of CAPITALISM.  which isn't entirely bad, but you have to not see these people as people, but as the MACHINE which makes the best BUSINESS decisions for ITSELF.  machines do not have hearts.

....this is only one TRUTH stream of consciousness...it's not a conspiracy theory, it's real, researchable, verifiable truth. 

and only a part of a HUGE, worldwide, international, multi-faceted network.  

awareness is power.  if you know what's happening, and even more about the details of it, you can enable yourself to make decisions that will protect you, keep you healthier, and more informed about what's really going on when a building gets run into with a plane or some 'war' is started.  

you can think about what's really in the water.  fluoride isn't good for you.  they tell you, if you swallow what's more than in toothpaste, call the CDC. but there's that and more in 8oz of most municipal water.  that's the truth.  i know here in my city, there have been massive petitions against them adding SO MUCH fluoride in the water. ha, they haven't stopped.  my pedi told is it was a good thing...i like him, but i don't agree with is fundamental POV. i had already looked up what research has proven about fluoride and what it hasn't.

but my doctor told me so!  your doctor may have the purest intentions, or not.  same with your pediatrician, but remember.  they went to school for YEARS within the educational systems that are the ones that don't teach (all of) the truth.  they're still teaching the the 'new settlers/pilgrims' were friends to the native americans.  what about those blankets?  oh, we forgot.  whatever...get out of here.  btw, do you really think that the edu that the presidents got, let's say, in primary/middle/highschool is the same one that you and i got?  

but remember, your doctor was convinced of the things that they want you to believe.  i'm not trying to get too conspiracy style right now, but just keep in mind that you and your doctor may have very different opinions, and what they tell you is not necessarily what you need to do.  you can take their advice, but just remember what they're telling you may not be accurate, or what you feel in your heart.  but it sure is difficult to have the confidence to go against a doctor.  don't worry, it gets easier with time. and when you know the truth.

but!  your doctor may be AWESOME!  i'm not here to bash anyone, including doctors.  they may have gone to a really progressive open-intelligence kind of school.  or maybe they went directly through the system, but they may have with a really strong mind that knew what the deal was and with their own, very educated, opinion.  VERY POSSIBLE!  and definitely a keeper :o)

ps...refusal of awareness and just 'taking it' is ignorance.  and usually is a direct contribution to the things that take us down as a society.  

you're pissed that you have poor living conditions, no money, dirty water and cities?  no jobs, poor schools for your kids?  it's because you're accepting the reaming of your ass.  and taking what the news and magazine covers (even people...lol) as the truth, and soaking in the distraction. i watch housewives and jersey shore, but i don't wake up wanting to be them or wondering what they're doing...or even believing that it's not scripted.

i've lived in LA, getting casted for 'reality' shows.  how real is that?  you wouldn't even believe what you'd see on an LA set.  


pss:  AND TO THE THINKERS.  remember!  the unaware often get in the way of the aware, lemmings, bad drivers, non-thinkers.  part of getting ahead is not letting them get in your way, too much...lol

peace...

for real.  peace.

atlanta, what's wrong?

i've been thinking about this for a while, probably since i got back to atlanta, over a year ago.

i moved to atlanta in 2003, right after i graduated from college.  i spent 2 years here, and was spent.  then i moved to la, was there a little over 5 years (i love la) and then moved to busan, s.korea (korea is cool).  after korea, i came back to atlanta to start again.

almost as soon as i got here, i remembered all of the reasons why i left, and wanted to leave so badly.  atlanta is kind of small and slow-paced, but still pretty cool as a city, with enough to do to be considered decent.  what's really effed about the atl are (some of) the people.  not all, but there are quite a few people here that have the 'syndrome'.

the atlanta syndrome is affiliating wealth or speaking well, or even decently enough so someone can understand you, as being a 'white' thing.  there's a lot of the perpetual poverty syndrome, and when you get out of that, you enter into the realm of needing dudes to buy you purses and an extremely hostile disposition towards other women.  with the men, they're extremely disrespectful to women.  now, please don't forget, this is not everyone, but a LOT of the dudes here feel entitled to stare at you, from head to toe, in your face, in you ass, wherever they want for as long as they want.  i've never seen anything like this anywhere else i've ever been to or lived in my entire life.

i believe that atlanta is a very (poorly) oversexed city.  the women, not everyone, but the armpit ones...you know what i'm talking about...wear what's the shortest, and the tightest, can be seen shaking their asses in the street thinking it's cute, and running intentionally into 8mo pregnant women walking through the mall when there is absolutely no one else around...take my word for that last one.

so the next 'tier' is that everyone is a CEO.  a ceo/president/founder, everyone else is a model.  the new thing in atlanta has been the new thing since the year i left, and that's the 'gourmet' pizza place, that's gourmet because they have some movie playing on the wall and have a full(ish) bar.  then there are the same lame events...listening parties, release parties, grand re-grand, rerere-openings and bootleg fashion shows.  because remember, everyone here...EVERYONE is a model.

i'm not full of hate.  i'm full of disappointment.  when i was here, the club scene was kinda ok, usher and outkast were making music, the studios were going strong....and the full-bar having pizza kitchen was actually a new(ish) idea.  that was 10 years ago.

see, i just don't think (some) people should be so proud of a place that's so not.  and no...this is NOT black hollywood.  atl housewives and love and hip hop doesn't make you anywhere close to anything besides a cheap (monetarily and otherwise) place to film.

but i don't really care about the princess attitudes, and my weave is fresh attitude.  i don't care about the 14 year old trying to fight me from her car when i was just taking my dog for a run by the park.  i don't care.  i do get pissed about the dudes.  i was followed almost an entire block, pregnant by a dude hassling me for a date.  7 months pregnant.

my husband's sister...when she was pregnant...a dude in ross asking her to 'chill' and she says, can't you see that i'm pregnant?  and he said, well, that just means that you can't get pregnant again.  i think all people do (not all all, but a lot of the all) down here is eff.

i'd be able to get over it all if it weren't so HOT and HUMID.  and had traffic EVERYWHERE.

but on the good side, the underground scene here is good.  you just have to dig....and digggggggg

more of the same. why?

i've been subjected, or maybe i'm just noticing, some things around me.  mostly that of the actions of the people in my environment, in my (current) city.  sorry, but i'd never ever call atlanta mine, i'd be too embarrassed.  the DIRTKEEPERS of this city get to me.  who are the dirtkeepers?  well, a dirt keeper is anyone who holds on to old trash and old crap.  racist hillbilly's who are mad that there's a 'nigger' in office.  idiot's who think that only 'white people' are meant to have money or get rich, or are some elite elite of people.  or that all asians sound like 'chee chungchung' without even trying to attempt to listen to any of the languages.  that kind of crap.

here in atlanta, the breed of dirtkeeper that's mostly around is the one that wears rollers or a shower cap out...EVERYWHERE, walks with a MAJOR switch, kinda constipated looking, but i guess some dude that wears his pants so low that he carries them with him everywhere he walk told her that she's sexy and that that walk was making him want to 'hit that'.   no exaggeration.  seriously.  no belt, holding them where they button, still falling off as he walks with some sweaty nasty-pants draws exposed all prison-style.  come one?  that's a SIMPLE evolution.  'oh?  dudes in pants advertise their buttholes by showing their underwear like this?  man, i'm gonna STOP...immediately!' (unless that's what you're going for, that's cool)  but no, the dirtkeeper says, no...it's a 'black/gangsta/????? style, dey don't understand, SHAWDY' so tacky.  

but that pants thing is so old, who cares.  stay like that.  but hey, homegirls...why is it that it's always a dude that has to buy you something?  why do you guys fight over that same dude that has like 6 kids to stay around you in your house not doing anything and just eating your food and borrowing your car.  ever see 'baby boy'???  that's not fiction. *yes, i know baby boy seeeems like an LA thing.  maybe...but those cats moved there from ATLANTA.  believe me!*

and atlanta dudes, why do you guys make 'holla'ing' at women such a sport? man, you should see it, these dues will talk to ANYTHING.  i've seen broke down girls pushing babies around in strollers getting screamed at from across gas station parking lots by a half homeless dude and her walking away happy about it.

and i've recently discovered the brute-force style of the atlien dude.  see, he knows that you're in a hurry, oh yeah, he sees you cleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeearly walking in the opposite direction.  but the M.O. is this. FORCE. they'll yell at you something that you 'have' to reply back to, or they'll call you a bitch because you 'ignored' them.  like it's not rude to just interrupt someone for the sake of the 'hunt'.  but whatever.  they'll yell (at your back) hey, hey, hey.  hey miss, excuse me miss, how are you??  and (if you're dumb/nice) you turn (slightly) and say, 'i'm good, thanks.' and turn back around and continue on your way.  

but then they'll (at your back, once more) yell at you again, 'ey, ey, can i talk to you for a minute?' if you're an idiot/polite, you turn around and nicely say, 'i'm sorry, but i'm in a hurry'.  boom.  that's enough, because just for you to turn around, that's when they start following you.  trying to catch up.  even when you say that you don't want to talk, they but in and say some crap like, 'i only want to talk to you for a minute' and before you know it, you have to take your mace out and tell them not to follow you.  and have your knife on deck.  real story, multiple times this has happened to me.  ONLY IN ATLANTA.

either that happens, or you then have a new 'buddy' to stroll the sickeningly HOT MUGGY HUMID streets of atlanta. well, at least then you'll have a few less scallywags honking at and yelling at you from their cars right?  that's a plus.  sheesh.  

 i know that the ratio here is insane, like 20 to one in favor of the gents, but move to another city or SOMETHING!  or at least get used to hanging around yourself.  be cool with no deadbeat around.  start valuing yourself.  stop wearing the shorrrrrrrrrrrtest, tighest, no-style tackiest thing EVER just because it displays your 'phat ass'.  or flat ass.  whatever.  basically, unless you're hookin...oh!!! never mind.  i get it now! 

and then there's the confrontational woman.   ayeayeaye.  what, you think i want HIM!?  effing crap dude!  what are you looking at me like that for?!  i just was trying to go out for a run/get a water from the gas station/pay for my candy bar.  the dirtkeeper woman is ALWAYS in competition with other women.  when i was 8 mo pregnant, i went to lenox.  which is a nice mall here, but then some hoodrats like to go to try to see and be seen and pick up men who might have some money...well anyways, we (my husband and i) went in the back way.  totally clear area.  8 months pregnant.  bonquifa and shante' walk straight towards me, with some LOUD HUGE weaves, one yellow, one pink....and pinky runs right into me.  no one around for miles. i saw her coming, i could sense her style.  so i just stopped so she'd have her choice of where to go.  i was being ghandi'ish...but no.  she runs RIGHT into my shoulder.  i was like rrrr....we walk like 20ft away into the nail salon to get some pedi's.  2 bonkies sitting right there, getting some tacky 4in nails.  the MEANEST mean mugs (from head to toe) yuckface all day.  i try to smile.  both roll their eyes at me.  i'm telling you, these aren't isolated incidents.  this is ALL DAY LONG for the female DIRTKEEPER.  

i could go on forever about this place and these dirtkeepers.  and no, this is not a BLACK thing.  although, most of these people just happen to BE black.  i want to help, but there's a strong resistance in most of the people who are a close part of these communities.  and after a while, you just want to say eff it.  wish you'd just disappear.  you're keeping society back and making a lot of people (myself included) embarrassed that you're black. and we won't talk about how segregated atlanta is.  you won't see these people with ANY body who isn't just like them.  wasn't MLK from the A?!  sheesh, there's a huge sector of his neighborhood dedicated to him here!  and these cats are just voluntarily segregating themselves. talking about crazy white people, what?!  i'm not joking.   and if you're in there, and you do want to be different, you're going to catch hell.  apparently, some people see education as a stupid thing. and putting 45" rims on a '81 caprice is the thing to do.

there are all kinds of cool people in the A.  could be a really cool place.  there's just a LOT of a certain type of dirtkeepers who just love to call this place home.  *and you don't have to be born in or from atlanta to adopt a very ignorant disposition*

your problems (aren't) my problems

i've been on a way higher alert ever since 12/11, when i first found out about the NDAA and SOPA bills. it was really the NDAA bill that i found out about (by accident) through a random post on a pregnancy and babies website.  some of the replies were because they were thankful for it, but others thought of it as some sort of conspiracy theory and not to believe everything you read or saw on youtube.

don't believe everything you read or see or hear.  but don't be so gullible that you believe everything that the media and government tells you.  what about what they're not telling you?  it's like the convenience of going into gamestop and being able to sell your 'old' i-everything, for games that the sellers got reamed on when they sold them, but then turning around and seeing that that same ipad could have easily sold on ebay for at least 3 times the price that you just turned it in for.  and that's including all of the fees that ebay charges, including that new one.  shipping fee?  but ebay, you're not the one delivering my package, how come i'm paying you AND the usps?  oh well, just pay it and don't ask any questions.

never ask questions, never realize that there's a whole other world behind the one that comes on right before and after TMZ.  just think that that job you have is your security, even though your boss is totally reaming you because they know that you're too scared to stand up to them and tell them about how shady they are.

no.  actually, i think you should be asking some questions, and realizing some other things.  like the problems that the government says that are our problems actually aren't.  sure, we're affected by them, but that british pound and that 16 billion euro that greece has to pay or else isn't from my doing.  our debt here in the us being some crazy, astronomical figure isn't there because i put it there.  it's probably there because of that whole enron thing that no one went to jail over.  but if i get caught and found guilty of forgery, i could be going to jail way longer than someone who raped and killed a 5 year old.

that debt is also probably there because of a 650 billion bill that just got passed supporting a fight the war at home bill that no one except for 'them' agreed to.  it's also probably there because of all the money that we ship off to other countries for them to help their own crazy economies and to help them fight wars that we continue to interfere in.

and all of that is cool.  just don't make your problems my problems, because once you do a little research on the non-mainstream news sites that the government is now trying to ban, you really realize that these problems are really their problems.  economy, and crisis and recession and all of those other terms are their terms, not mine.  these terms weren't here when my ancestors (the sioux and cherokee) were maintaining a pretty successful and effective bartering system.  ah, and i forgot to mention, this system is also peaceful.  

instead, now we're begging (or demanding?) that this 'particular' middle-eastern country better not (pretty please?) shut down this certain straight because it's going to cut off millions of barrels of oil from us.  all of these wars are for oil.  so bush and the rest of his family can continue on their merry way.  and really, that's ok too.  just don't make your problems my problems.

if it were up to me (us), we'd be putting solar power into effect, like yesterday.  but no.  all we have now are these 20 years behind the times electric cars that still run off of gas but cost the same as a small lexus.  and we continue to fight over oil.  and exploit people's communities for it.  watch out many remaining-to-be-named african countries.  that little gold mine that your tribe/city is sitting on is the next target.

but in the meantime, before we get to the solutions of all of these problems, i'm just going to have to let you (big government) that i'm not buying into your scare tactics.  i'm not worried about my credit score, so i can buy that house that you're going to try to foreclose on anyways.  i'm not trying to get that loan so you can stick your thumb in my butt right before you (crummy bank) file bankruptcy.  no, i'm not going for that new/used/leased car that you want me to buy.  and no, i'm not selling an almost-new used car back to the grimy dealership so that you can give me a (rape) deal on a new car that's going to lose 20% of its value as soon as i turn the key in the ignition.  no, especially not. because that 'deal' equals out to me getting about $8,000 towards one of your new cars, when i could have made $18,000 (easily) if i had just sold that car myself.  no, i'm not falling for the marketing and that guy with the smooth voice, and the nice typography in your commercials full of that fine print that's going to get me effed later.

so, mr.the man.  take everything that you want me to believe so that you can grow your everything and shove it.  and when you're done shoving it, suck it.  just don't try to bamboozle me into it.  because if i choose to kick a jig now, i'm kicking it for me.  not you.

SUCK IT.