but i continued to think and research things since then. and it's just been more that it ever has been, and my perception about the world is becoming more and more jaded and muted.
i hold onto the good things and people even tighter now. most i can't have (what i would consider) a decent conversation with. i told a person close to me about the 'pollution' on the US's west coast recently, maybe about two days ago. and their reaction was like i told them nothing, or at least something minor....like, oh, it's going to be cloudy tomorrow.
having two kids and a ton of other stress, i've stopped caring about helping people a little bit. i've noticed that you have to stuff shit into the mouths of some in order to get them to even start to think about it for themselves, and for them to even begin to understand. i'm really not into putting that effort in anymore, at least not now. i'm too exhausted, and i'm just not interested. and i see these things now, as a modern-times version of the survival of the fittest. the world and your environment will kill you if you don't pay attention and educate yourselves. that's just common, but not so common, knowledge. and the ones who don't get at least that are going to (most likely) the first ones to go.
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